Am I A Proper Wargamer? Big Lee's expansion questions

EDIT: I got this wrong the first time, but these questions were used by Lee Hadley taking the suggestions for additional questions from the original list of Phil Broeders.

• You have reference books on each period / army you play

Yes. I am a compulsive buyer of books

• Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at that moment

Nope, I play so rarely now that I forgot most of the rules I used to play and haven't fully consumed the new rulesets

• You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby

No. We still have separate accounts ;-)

• You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post

Pretty much, yes. But never more so than when I received packages from my Secret Satan

Last year's Secret Satan was actually not that bad. Ascalion is the German version of Borderlands, and I know enough German to play. The Country Moog CD, however, was pretty vile.

• You have joined a re-enactment society

No! If I go camping, it will be in a proper tent and no silly clothes, thank you!

• You have played in an unsuitable venue

Is outdoors considered unsuitable and in a festival with arty farty people?

• You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).

Given up. Wargamers just like overly long, wordy, complicated and boring rulesets. It probably insults their efforts of researching and painting their armies to use a streamlined ruleset that doesn't include the option to turn around the second rank as at Albuera. If you want good rules, have a look at boardgames

• For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods.  And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.

I rarely dabble with other people's (miniature) rules. I rather design new rules from the ground up. I have my own ideas

• You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.

No. Not necessary

• You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.

I did. Naval, air and WWI I all considered utterly boring. I've come round in each case.

My 1/600 Amiot 143 bombers for Bag The Hun

• You have made your own wargames scenery.

No, I'm not the modelling type

• You have reached a painting 'wall'

It's more like The Wall than a 'wall'. Roger Waters ain't got shit on my painting wall. This is why I am outsourcing it now.

• You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.

Mojo as in ability to win battles (lost and regained a few times) or as in enjoying it and spending time on it (lost and not regained much)?

• You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.

Guilt? As a lapsed member of the Dutch Reformed Church I have too much to feel guilty about already

• You have done armies in different scales for the same period 

Napoleonics 15mm and 6mm

My 15mm Saxons and 6mm Russians. Also illustrates my lack of painting skills

• You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.

All the time. That´s what you get when you are lazy and lack talent in painting

• You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job

Not much opportunity for me to laugh at others. Standards at my club are pretty high and I don't have much to look down upon

• You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge.

Trivia is inherently useless. The facts I bring to the table are always relevant and enlightening

• You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.

Contradicted in the gentlest of ways

• You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor).

I like to believe I haven´t

• You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point

A restrained YES!!! is the best I´ve done

• You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her.  I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".

No. Not necessary

• You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.

Long ago I used to. But I´m ok with being a wargamer now. Besides, the women I like actually think it´s quite interesting when I talk about it.

• You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.

It wasn´t my fault really. It was a competition game and she wasn´t very competitive

• You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once

I won´t count the few 1870 French I painted after I´d sold the old lot

Only three Chasseurs d'Afrique ever got painted

• You have reference books on armies you haven't even got.

Of course. It all starts with the books, the armies are an afterthought

• You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap.

No, I intend to play all periods I got minis for. The 25mm samurai and cowboys will come in handy some time.

• You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down.

No. I don't like to break things

• You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities

QED

• Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related

This is emphasised by the fact that I keep part of my work related books at the office

• You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy.

Though not as well as others I know

• You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.

Occasionally. When you drive from the east of Caen to the south, the highroad takes you around the Goodwood battlefield. I couldn't help notice how small it was.

See also my answers to Phil Broeders' original questions and to Trebian's alternative list